I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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