so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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