we're blogging at a bar
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
