we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
