dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
