no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You're like the curious george of whores
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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