My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
