it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
