I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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