There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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