Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
