I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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