Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
