I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
