Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
