bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
