You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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