Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
