i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
