I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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