i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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