Do you still have your period?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
