Sry I called you an 8
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
