Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
