Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
