It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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