Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
