I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
