I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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