one two three fourrrrnication!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
