you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
