Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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