i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
