She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
