just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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