A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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