your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
