You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
