So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
