is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
