pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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