Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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