i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize