alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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