that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
