i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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