My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
