the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize