his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
