So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
