in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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