Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
