Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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