We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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