You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
