There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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