i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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