I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
