You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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