it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
