My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
